For Agatha’s first birthday we got her the most amazing truck ever! It was the Sprig Safari Expedition Jeep. It was kid powered, the more the child played with it, the better it worked. With lights and sounds that changed depending on which character you plugged into it. Anyhow. It was great fun for roughly 6 years, then it broke and didn’t light up or make sounds anymore, but it was still a great indoor or outdoor adventure vehicle.
Today it was sitting on our brown chair, it’s push handle was attached, and Ella came over and sat on the arm of the chair. One silly moment led to another and SNAP! The handle broke in two!
“You broke the handle right off!”
“Oh.” Her head drooped, her lip trembled, and her eyes welled up.
I walked over to her, picked up the handle in one hand and picked up the truck in the other hand and asked her to come help me fix it. I pulled out a couple tools and had her help me remove the remaining handle piece and we talked about ways we could still use the truck, and the fact that none of us really used the handle anyhow. In the span of 2 minutes she went from almost crying to happy and proud of her work.
I believe she learned more from the entire situation by my asking for help to fix it, then she could have by any amount of lecturing. Though in the future I’d like to skip saying ‘you broke’ instead just say, ‘the handle broke’. Whether she did it or not, no matter her intention, laying blame doesn’t help, and can cause a lot of hurt.
When we lay blame about small things, then our children are less likely to bring big things to us. Each time we lay blame or shame on our children, they lose a little more trust in us.
Moments like this I try to remember what Peter Pan said, “All it takes is faith and trust. Oh and something I forgot, dust!”
Faith, trust and pixie dust. Secret ingredients to a happy relationship with our children. If we have faith in them, they’ll trust us. Sprinkle a little pixie dust into their lives and they’ll soar!